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Billionaires for Bush
Landover Baptist
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth
Economic Security Agenda

President Bush has devised a growth and jobs plan ("Bushonomics") to strengthen the financial foundations of consequential Americans, and called on the GOP-controlled Congress to justly reward themselves through its swift passage into law.

The President's Bushonomics agenda has three main goals:

  • Eliminate dividend taxes, thereby encouraging exponentially increased spending by America's most experienced and accomplished consumers: multi-millionaires.
  • Deliver critical help to the golden parachutes of Bonesmen and the underemployed relatives of Pioneer Club Platinum Partners.
  • Communicate the politically vital impression that the President is not secretly amused by the pathetic and slightly malodorous plight of all non-fabulously-prosperous Americans.
Who benefits under the Bushonomics plan?
  • Not only middle and lower-middle-affluent citizens who know what dividends are in the first place, but especially the insiders who have actually received and paid taxes on them during the worst bear market since the Great Depression.
  • Executive Officers of Fortune 1000 Corporations currently suffering under the inequitable strains of multiple trophy wife alimony payments.
  • Everyone who selflessly invests in the economy through beachfront real estate acquisitions and the employment of no fewer than seven personal manservants.
  • Seniors who weren't too dumb and lazy when they were young to cash out their fat trust funds and invest them exclusively in sure things.
  • Middle-class families can look forward to additional relief in the form of strong commitments from the Wendy's and McDonalds corporations to aggressively expand offerings associated with their Super-ValueTM and Dollar MenuTM product lines, respectively.

Making Progress: From Boom to Bush to Bushonomics
Since the beginning of his Administration, the President has acted decisively to attend to the fiscal needs of those Americans who put him where he is now.
  • In 2001, He fulfilled his promise to send whoppingly significant $300 campaign commercial checks to every American. This loan on their 2002 tax returns was equivalent to nearly 25% of the average American's credit card debt, and gave President Bush a context to sound a death knell for a recession which federal bean counters declared over some time ago, yet remains mysteriously incapable of producing jobs other than Wal-Mart stockboy positions.
  • In 2002, He proposed and signed into law a fabulously cosmetic economic stimulus bill and gloriously toothless corporate accountability standards. More importantly, He leveraged the issue of terrorism to convince just enough poor and middle class trash that the GOP isn't financially sodomizing them in order to achieve historic gains in both the Senate and House of Representatives.
  • In 2003, Bushonomics enabled the typical investment banker to realize impressive gains associated with meteoric growth in both the Private Pacific Island Home Loan and Shadow Dow Jones Indices.
Turning Fear Into Prosperity
The President's jobs and growth package will provide $98 billion of tax relief to his wealthiest constituents over the next 16 months and $670 billion over the next decade, providing the liberal homosexual Democratic party remains castrated and too ineffectual to regain control of the Federal Government that the GOP hates so much.

The American millionaire is rich, but he must be richer. The President's plan is a focused effort designed to remove the obstacles standing in the way of unimaginably obscene wealth and unprecedented class inequity.

President Bush will not be satisfied until every vetted Republican who wants a colored gardener can find one; until every business has a chance to eliminate benefits; and until we properly leverage our well-hyped war of shadows into a lasting self-serving prosperity that reaches deep into the corners of blue-blooded America.

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