On January 20, 2001, President George W. Bush signed an executive order establishing the United States Department of Faith (USDOF). The
USDOF's mission is to infuse traditional Christian values into American politics and thereby keep in check "compassion," which, when
left unmonitored, destabilizes the delicate balance envisioned by Mr. Bush's call for "compassionate conservatism." The USDOF has been
entrusted with overseeing disbursement of millions of taxpayer dollars to religious charities. In determining which organizations
shall receive this Treasury money, the USDOF does not discriminate against any particular religion, making funds available to both Baptist
churches and other churches or organizations that recognize Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
The USDOF is headed by Mr. Bush's and God's favorite church, Landover
Baptist Church, the largest, most powerful assembly of worthwhile people
ever to exist. An elite team of Bible-believing pastors and tenured
professors of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University for the Saved
have formed a True Christian® think-tank that, working with a
Republican-majority Supreme Court, has guaranteed that it will – by any
means necessary – bring every citizen of the United States of America back
under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
The USDOF's approach to this mission seamlessly dovetails with other
initiatives in this Republican administration by providing assistance based
not on need, but, quite the reverse, on preexisting wealth. The richer the
charity, the more federal dollars they can expect to receive. As such, the
USDOF will be using the taxpayers' tithes to the IRS to promote a national
program of Trickle Down Salvation, whereby the blood of the Lord Jesus is
washed over the wealthiest 10 percent of the country, eventually making its
way down to even the lowest, most worthless trash.