In recent years, however, voting has not always lived up to its tremendous potential. As Americans learned in 2000, in fact, voting can even be a complete waste of time – not to mention of money and effort.

Electoral profligacy may have a place in a democracy at the height of security, prosperity, and freedom. But in a democracy where each of these things is vanishing quickly, a 2000-style election can be murder – literally.

Today, America is a nation at war. Every day, our disadvantaged young men and women are dying in Iraq to save the rest of us from soon-to-be-located weapons of mass destruction. Under these conditions, nothing must distract our Dear Leader from the solemn task of keeping these men and women usefully deployed.

Unfortunately, while even a normal Presidential campaign would be an intolerable annoyance, the 2004 campaign season promises to be anything but normal. That is why President Bush is proposing – in cooperation with the American people, the television and radio networks, and all levels of the Homeland Security apparatus – to temporarily suspend the 2004 Presidential elections until such time as the war in Iraq is won and our disadvantaged youth are reallocated to new frontiers on the eternal crusade against Islam.

Some will say that we as a nation should not be forced to sacrifice the great institution of voting. But as our proud people have long demonstrated, "When there are lemons, you can make lemonade." This is why President Bush is asking our nation's mass media conglomerates to join him in making lemonade – by seizing the empty airtime ahead to rekindle prosperity! In the process, our mighty Homeland Security apparatus will make sure that Americans have the security and freedom to buy any and all flavors of lemonade, and anything else they've come to covet with the help of airwaves newly liberated from the prattle of incorrect political discourse.

As President Bush is fond of saying, "Security, prosperity, and freedom can be American bywords once again. Let us use the coming months and years to make the sacrifices we must to ensure America's greatness – abroad and at home."