VOTING is a great American institution. Thanks to America, it is also a world
institution, one that many countries enjoy. In this regard it is similar to security, prosperity, and freedom.
In recent years, however, voting has not always lived up to its tremendous potential. As Americans learned in
2000, in fact, voting can even be a complete waste of time – not to mention of money and effort.
Electoral profligacy may have a place in a democracy at the height of security, prosperity, and
freedom. But in a democracy where each of these things is vanishing quickly, a 2000-style election
can be murder – literally.
Today, America is a nation at war. Every day, our disadvantaged young men and women are dying in
Iraq to save the rest of us from soon-to-be-located weapons of mass destruction. Under these conditions,
nothing must distract our Dear Leader from the solemn task of keeping these men and women usefully deployed.
Unfortunately, while even a normal Presidential campaign would be an intolerable annoyance, the 2004
campaign season promises to be anything but normal. That is why President Bush is proposing –
in cooperation with the American people, the television and radio networks, and all levels of the
Homeland Security apparatus – to temporarily suspend the 2004 Presidential elections until such time
as the war in Iraq is won and our disadvantaged youth are reallocated to new frontiers on the eternal
crusade against Islam.
Some will say that we as a nation should not be forced to sacrifice the great institution of voting. But as our proud people have
long demonstrated, "When there are lemons, you can make lemonade." This is why President Bush is asking our
nation's mass media conglomerates to join him in making lemonade – by seizing the empty airtime ahead to rekindle
prosperity! In the process, our mighty Homeland Security apparatus will make sure that Americans
have the security and freedom to buy any and all flavors of lemonade, and anything else they've come to covet
with the help of airwaves newly liberated from the prattle of incorrect political discourse.
As President Bush is fond of saying, "Security, prosperity, and freedom can be American bywords once again. Let
us use the coming months and years to make the sacrifices we must to ensure America's greatness – abroad and at home."